The NBA season is nearly here. As all 6 (has it jumped to 7? I think it has) of our readers know, I love predicting things, especially when it comes to sports. However, given my propensity to completely fuck up my sports forecasting, I invited two of my close friends to help me out. They very kindly agreed, and so we divided the NBA's six divisions equally among the three of us.
Here then is fiverupees' NBA preview. Nikhil Lalwani's contributions are in orange. This is because in college, Nikhil used to wear the same orange t-shirt every weekend. He also happens to be Indian, and since one-third of the Indian flag is orange, I thought the symbolism might resonate with our readers. Zeyd Sheikh's contributions are in red. This is because red is the colour of anger, and both Zeyd and I were very angry with what happened this summer on Pakistan's tour of England. We thought at the time that it was a complete and utter disaster, and things couldn't possibly get worse. Little did we know.
Actually, I just chose orange and red because they show up nicely on our background. Onwards we march.
WESTERN CONFERENCE
Pacific
1.
With Amare back, the question for this team seems to be: can they win it all? And the answer is: no, they cannot. Don’t get me wrong, they’re going to challenge
2.
Wow, what a season these guys had, huh? I don’t think anyone foresaw Elton Brand becoming a legitimate MVP candidate or Sam Cassell displaying his 2004
3.
There are very few people in the world I hate more than Kobe Bryant, but even I have to admit some of the stuff he did last season was somewhat unreal. And there seems to be a great deal of positive energy around this team: they think that the Radmanovic signing was big for them (it wasn’t that big) and that Kwame is ready to step up and be a real force this season (uh, no) and that the Phoenix series will stand them in good stead this year (I guess). But when it comes down to it, with the West as loaded as it is, they’re going to be battling for a
4.
So Baron Davis says he needs to be more selfish this year. I don’t think there’s a comedian in the world who can add a punch line to that one, so I won’t even bother trying. The big story with the Warriors is, of course, the return of Don Nelson to the sidelines as coach, who says he wants to institute a running game and play small-ball. Which guarantees that at least they’ll be more interesting to watch. But a playoff spot? Forget about it. This is an underwhelming team with been-there-seen-that talent. Baron, Jason Richardson, Mike Dunleavy and Troy Murphy do not add up to a playoff team. Not in the West. Not this year.
5.
They lost probably their best playoff player (Bonzi). The guys fighting for the starting power forward job are fighting in every sense of the word (Shareef and Kenny Thomas). And their leader is a completely deranged lunatic (do I need to say?). More fun than trying to figure this team’s prospects out is trying to figure out what would happen if it doesn’t win as many games as Ron Ron thinks it should. Would he “accidentally” stab a referee? Spit in a teammate’s face, then apologize and say he only meant to spit at the coach? Perhaps he’d record an album and hold the PA guy’s family hostage unless he played his songs before, during and at the end of each game. For the record, I’d like to state that I think Artest is a fantastic player, just great to watch when he’s on. But that doesn’t make him any less crazy. And when your best player is crazy, and I mean literally crazy, it’s only a matter of time before something seriously bad happens.
Northwest
1.
First time back to the postseason after the end of the Stockton-Malone era, and they deserve it. All they need to do is stay healthy (not helped by Fisher falling in his first preseason game for the Jazz and breaking his collarbone – nice). They have a great frontline and soon-to-be-great PG. The plan basically is to play Boozer at a more anchored 5, let Okur get on the perimeter a little at the 4 spot, have Kirilenko running around wreaking havoc as he is wont to do, find a shooting guard – come on Ronnie Brewer (please be good, please be good…pretty please), and have Deron Williams run the point (he’s going to be really good, maybe never Chris Paul brilliant, but definitely an All Star). The bench is deep – Fisher, Harping, Collins, maybe even Araujo – you never know. I can’t wait to watch these guys – Nov. 8th at the Meadowlands, they should be entertaining.
2.
I mulled over this one for quite a while, and couldn’t decide between the Wolves and the Jazz, and it may have been the fan in me that finally picked the latter [Ahsan’s note: you think?]. However, that should take nothing away from this team and their re-energized superstar. They drafted a really good guard who should have an impact right away; they acquired a score-first PG not scared of taking big shots – exactly the kind of player KG needs to play with – in Mike James (or Cassell Lite, whichever you prefer); Ricky Davis is going to do his thing; Hassell will do his (defensively); Eddie Griffin is not in prison; Troy Hudson is finally healthy; and the NBA is embracing a quicker, smaller kind of basketball that should help the Wolves, as it lets them play KG at a mobile 5 and have 4 guards running around on the perimeter, slashing and shooting. I think they make the playoffs.
3.
This team is primed for an implosion. Reasons listed below:
- Kenyon Martin and George Karl don’t like each other. Karl has a history of crap like this, and it never ends well. Just ask Cassell or Payton. Martin’s also got two bum knees and an $80 million dollar contract – all he does now, is make Rod Thorn look good.
- Marcus Camby has played over 30mpg in the last 3 seasons, with at least 55 games a season. He’s going to suffer some sort of season ending injury 25 games in. Write it down.
- Andre Miller can’t shoot. Earl Boykins is 5’5”.
- J.R. Smith is their starting shooting guard. He couldn’t get along with Byron Scott and you’re telling me Karl is going to be okay with this guy? 15 games and he’s in the doghouse. I like Dermarr Johnson though – feel good story and everything. On a somewhat related note – I hope Jay Williams gets to play in the NBA again someday.
- I’m pretty sure no one’s hyping Melo-Lebron as the next Magic-Bird. Lebron laid that to rest last season.
I don’t like Melo – not his game, his attitude, his DVD (no snitching!), his hairstyle, or even his girlfriend. And while he’s apparently worked his ass off this off-season and looks like a better player (as seen at the World Championships, where incidentally, Darko looked pretty good too), he’s still, at best, the third best player from the draft with a drop to fourth very possible (watch Bosh this year, he’s going to be really, really good).
4.
Have a better chance of being in
5.
Not much to say about these guys – they’re clearly rebuilding. Drafted a nice inside-outside combo in Brandon Roy (favorite for Rookie of the year) and Lamarcus Aldridge. Unfortunately, Darius Miles and Zach Randolph are still with the team, and may stunt Aldridge’s growth – by their mere presence, even if they’re not taking playing time away from him. The sad thing about this team is that I don’t think they’ll be very fun to watch either – depressing all around.
Southwest
The Mavericks are coming off an historic season where Avery Johnson won the award for Coach of the Year in his first full season as a head coach in the NBA. The Mavericks lost in the NBA Finals to the Miami Heat in a tightly contested series which saw
2.
The Spurs had the best record in the West last season at 63-19 and looked good to defend their championship before losing in a classic see-saw, seven-game, second-round, series versus the Dallas Mavericks. Head coach Greg Popovich immediately began to form plans in order to reclaim their championship and despite losing centers Nazr Mohammad and Rasho Nesterovitch, the Spurs still have a very strong core in Duncan, Parker, Ginobli, Finley, Horry and Barry and their chemistry and collective talent will continue to make San Antonio one of the best teams in the league.
3.
4.
With the signings of Peja Stojakovic and Bobby Jackson as well as the trade for Tyson Chandler which saw P.J Brown and J.R. Smith go to
5.
EASTERN CONFERENCE
Atlantic
I was going to be stupid and put
2.
This team is my sleeper in the East. I’m telling you, they’re poised for a breakthrough season. The two new European bigs will help (Bargnani and Garbajosa) and Bosh is ready to take the next step. They’re going to be a mix-and-match type team – they’ll be able to run now that they traded for T.J. Ford and will also be able to control the paint with their frontline. If you don’t want to believe me, that’s fine. My record on predictions certainly doesn’t warrant any confidence. But if they’re challenging NJ for the division in April, you’ll know who to call Nostradamus. (Disclaimer: all bets are off if Sam Mitchell, at any point during the season, has a Sam Mitchell moment).
3.
Poor Paul Pierce (what do you think of my alliteration?). He signed a three-year extension this summer for something like $60 million. But other than the money, why would he choose to stay with the Celtics? The young guys (Tony Allen, Al Jefferson, Kendrick Perkins) didn’t improve as much as the team hoped they would, Gerald Green didn’t live up to the hype and Wally was Wally. Plus, they signed Michael friggin Olowokandi, which can never be a good thing. There are 2 x-factors on this team, however: Sebastian Telfair and Rajon Rondo. Telfair just looked like he needed to get out of
4.
Every year, AI sounds like he’s seriously pumped for the season. Every year, his preseason interviews are filled with quotes like “Once you’re in a 7-game series, anything can happen” and “I just want us to play hard, and leave everything out on the floor”. This year’s press conference (yes, I downloaded it. Shut up, Nikhil) was so depressing I don’t know what to tell you. He sounds like he has absolutely no idea what else he can do. What’s sad about this is that Philly has absolutely wasted the 2 finest seasons of AI’s career. 2 years ago, he averaged 31 and 8 as Philly ran into
5.
Well, everyone seems to agree on one thing: they can’t be worse than last year. And even I subscribe to that philosophy; I just don’t get carried away with it. Really, other than the coaching change, what is so different about this team? And since when is Isiah Thomas considered a Gregg Popovich as far as coaching ability is concerned? In their euphoria over getting rid of Larry Brown, has every Knicks fan forgotten that Isiah’s teams consistently underachieved in
Southeast
1.
They won last year, and everyone’s back.
2.
My favourite team in the East, and no, this preview is not biased in any way. Jameer is going to get a whole year to run the point, with no poisonous Stevie Francis to ruin team chemistry. Dwight Howard is going to average 20 and 10 – at least. They have a decently deep bench (by East standards at least) – Arroyo, Ariza, Turkoglu, Bogans and Battie. But the TWO MAIN REASONS the Magic WILL make the playoffs:
(1) Darko – the human victory cigar is finally getting his shot, playing next to Howard will make it really easy for him to get offensive rebounds, block from the weak side, and get him lots of easy 12-15 footers; their inside-outside game is going to be great.
(2) Grant Hill is back. Trust me he’s back. 60-75 games, 17, 5 and 4. More importantly, veteran leadership, playoff experience (somewhat), locker room presence, and all round nice guy. No potentially fatal infections or sports hernia or ankle injury or ripped calf (I could go on and on and on). If he gets hurt, for whatever reason, then I will KNOW there is no God (currently I just suspect there isn’t).
One reason to worry – J.J. Reddick: stop drinking and driving, fool.
3.
While Gilbert may be new favourite player simply because he’s rarifying the air in house to build stamina, and he’s going to have a phenomenal season (30, 6 and 5), the Wizards did nothing to get better. In fact they lost Jared Jeffries (although this will probably be offset by Jarvin Hayes’ return from injury).Unfortunately for them, a few of the teams they finished ahead of last year got a lot better, Chicago and Orlando to name two. Do I think they’ll make the playoffs? Probably, but not higher than the 8th seed.
4.
Marginally beat out
5.
Central
1.
Plagued by persistent injury problems and seasons of Artest-induced tumult, the Indiana Pacers enter the 06-07 season with a healthy and re-organized roster. The major signings which should make an immediate impact was the trade of Austin Croshere for Marquis Daniels from the Dallas Mavericks, and the acquisition of Al Harrington from the Atlanta Hawks. The Pacers lost Peja Stojakovic to the New Orleans Hornets but that should not stop them from making it to the playoffs where they have always been a force to contend with. If
2.
Despite reaching the Eastern Conference finals, the Detroit Pistons may have considered the 05-06 season a failure after leading the League with a record of 64-18. The forecast for the 06-07 season is bright as the Pistons managed to add Nazr Mohammad and Ronald “Flip”
3.
The Chicago Bulls enter the 06-07 season amid a great degree of expectation and optimism stemming from the signing of Ben Wallace from their division rivals Detroit Pistons. The trade bringing P.J Brown and J. R Smith from
4.
The Cavaliers are coming off a successful season where they reached the second round of the playoffs eventually losing in a closely fought series to the defending Eastern Conference champions Detroit Pistons. There is much optimism leading into the 06-07 season with most of the focus once again on prodigal wonder Lebron James. James is coming off his most successful season as a pro with averages of 31.4 points, 6.6 rebounds, 6.6 assists and 1.81 steals per game, whilst starting in 79 games and averaging 42.5 minutes per game. Look for the focus to be on Lebron again as he strives to propel his team into the playoffs and make a run at the championship.
5.
The Bucks entered the playoffs last season as the number 8 seed and they were promptly disposed by the
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Basketball
2 comments:
What about Michael Jordan?
ZEYDMON!
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