Justin Gimelstob Wants Younger Brother, Described As "Stud," To Nail Anna Kournikova, Reap Benefits

What a truly bizarre story. Apparently our favorite Sports Illustrated columnist didn't take his meds last week. Check out some of these quotes:

"Hate's a very strong word. I just despise her [Anna Kournikova] to the maximum level, right below hate."

And

"I have no attraction to her, because she's such a douche."

And

"I wouldn't mind having my younger brother, who's kind of a stud, nail her and then reap the benefits of that."

And

Gimelstob then described Frenchwoman Tatiana Golovin as a "sexpot", her compatriot Alize Cornet a "little sexpot" and Nicole Vaidisova "a well-developed young lady".

And

"I'm going to serve it right at the body, about 128 (mph), right into her midriff. If she's not crying by the time she comes off court then I did not do my job."

And

"Female tennis players lack the social skills, they don't go to high school, they don't go to parties."

And

"She has a great body but her face is a five."

Five? This is a five? Are you fucking kidding me? Anyway, in other news, he just got voted on to the ATP board as a player's representative. Good times.