Excerpt Of The Day

This is an interesting window into Iranian culture from Trita Parsi's Treacherous Alliance: The Secret Dealings of Israel, Iran, and the U.S. This would prove highly resonant for Pakistani readers:

Taarof is an Iranian social principle, a concept of insincere politeness. For instance, Iranians invite each other to dinner not necessarily because they mean it, but to show politeness. The expectation is that the invited party will respond with equal politeness -- by turning the invitation down. The impolite thing to do would be to accept the invitation on its first offering. An invitation should be considered sincere only if it has been offered roughly three times, after which, of course, it would be immensely rude to decline it. Vagueness, symbolism, and endless nuance are inherent in the Iranian culture and language. "Taarof is a sign of respect, even if we don't mean it," Nasser Hadian of Tehran University explained, in a statement Americans and Israelis would find blatantly contradictory. For Iranians, however, there is no contradiction. They understand taarof and why insincere politeness is still a sign of utter respect.

So I guess this is the Farsi term for takaluf? Or, to be more accurate, takaluf is the Urdu term for taarof?

To be honest, for someone as uber-rational as me, I actually don't mind takaluf THAT much. I think it's kind of sweet and polite that if I'm a guest in someone's house, and they offer me something, I don't say yes, but instead say no. Then they ask again, and I strategically hesitate, giving them the opportunity to be more encouraging and cajoling in their offer: come on, have some. And then I happily oblige. I don't know, but it's kind of nice.

Of course, some aunties and uncles (but usually aunties) take it to the next level, at which point I want to go home. But in moderation, I quite like takaluf.