Punjab, Sindh Assemblies Locked In Battle To The Death

I absolutely love my country. Why? Because shit like this simply cannot, I repeat cannot, happen anywhere else. It just makes my day brighter.

On Saturday, the Punjab Assembly saw a walk-out in protest against, as Dawn says, something that was never said. Please, please, please read the whole article. In fact, I am copying and pasting here to save you the trouble of having to click.

LAHORE, June 27: Sheikh Ala-ud-Din of PML-Q Forward Bloc on Saturday must have made history in the Punjab Assembly when he walked out of the house in protest against something that was never said.

The ire of the Sheikh, a member from Kasur (PP-181) fell on Mohsin Leghari (PP-245, DG Khan) of the PML-Q when Mr Leghari, while accentuating his southern roots, read a few lines from Shakespeare’s Julius Caesar.

Mr Leghari, delivering his budget speech, maintained the finance bill was more of an urban document, which excluded rural development.

Speaking on the neglect of southern Punjab, he said though he loved Lahore – a city where he was educated, got his first employment and still resides in – he has not forgotten his ancestral land. Explaining his predicament, he quoted from the last scene of the Julius Caesar, where Brutus explains his killing of Caesar by saying: “It’s not that I loved Caesar less, but I loved Rome more.”

Provoked either by his lack of understanding or knowledge, Mr Ala-ud-Din immediately stood on a point of order and started grilling Mr Leghari for insulting Lahore, which gave him education, employment and residence, and thundered: “This Lahore bashing must end, especially by those who have benefited immensely from the city.”

Both Speaker Rana Iqbal and Mr Mohsin tried to convince their colleague that no insulting remark had been passed against Lahore, but to no avail. After making an emotional speech, Sheikh Ala-ud-Din walked out of the house in protest against “insult to Lahore”.

He was later brought back by Education Minister Mian Mujtaba Shujaur Rahman on speaker’s request, and the minister also lectured the house on avoiding hurting each others’ territorial feelings.

As if all this was not enough, Dr Asad Ashraf of the PML-N found a new dimension to the innocent quote and stunned everyone in the house. On next point of order, he took off by saying: “Since Mr Mohsin has called himself Caesar, he must know how Caesar was born.

It was his difficult birth, which gave birth to Caesarian Operation (C-Section). How bad Caesar proved for his mother.”

On both occasions, Leghari defended himself that he has neither insulted Lahore nor called himself Caesar, but the die was cast.

The Sindh Assembly, on the same day, decided that this was not farcical enough, and decided to observe a minute's silence in honor of Michael Jackson's death. Because, after all, if there's one thing bridging the PPP/MQM rural/urban divide in Sindh, it's old Wacko.

The Punjab Assembly, in retort, decided that no, they should assume most-ridiculous status in Pakistan. And so this happened:

LAHORE: Government representatives and leaders of the opposition exchanged blows in Punjab Assembly hall when the assembly session was underway here on Monday.

According to Geo News, PML-Q’s PA member Bushra Gardezi waved a banner against Chief Minister Punjab Shahbaz Sharif which led to the brawl as the Provincial Minister Prisons Abdul Ghafoor took the banner away from her and made some abusive remarks.

Chaudhry Abdul Ghafoor then threw budget proposal scripts at the female opposition leaders which further contributed to the heated environment and the opposition and govt leaders burst into a physical fight.

Women leaders of PML-Q threw back the books at Chaudhry Ghafoor and government leaders.

The opposition staged a walk out from the session in protest of the incident. Later, leader of the Unification Bloc, Atta Manika also walked out.

Opposition leader Chaudhry Zaheeruddin talking to media said it is no longer possible to sit here due to the inappropriate attitude adopted by the government leaders.

As with most things in Pakistan, Punjab wins this round, but the war is surely not over just yet.