Some Comic Relief

A few items that should brighten the mood around here:

1. This one is courtesy, uh, me. So the other day, I'm TAing Intro to IR, and have 32 eager undergraduates actually paying attention. The topic I'm discussing is the shadow of the future and iterated Prisoner's Dilemma, the point I'm making is that concern for the future makes people cooperate in the present. Why? Because if you see people again and again, you are less likely to want to cheat them (or so goes the logic). The way I wanted to express it was: "You are less likely to screw over someone you see every day." I forgot the word "over".

2. Liverpool lose to Sunderland. A balloon scored.



3. Staying on football, I hope you know what Maradona did after Argentina beat Uruguay to qualify for South Africa 2010.

"You lot take it up the arse," were Diego Maradona's words to the pressimmediately after his team secured a place at next year's World Cup finals. It was almost adding injury to the insult when he scanned the room and added, "if the ladies will pardon the expression". Looking increasingly Botox-ridden, the angry yet victorious Argentina coach was somehow able to raise a nervous chuckle from those on the receiving end of the abuse.

He wanted to dedicate the triumph to the fans back home and especially those who bothered to cross into Uruguay, to his girls Dalma and Giannina, and to his squad, who worked like never before for the 1–0 result. "But certain people who have not supported me, and you know who you are, can keep sucking," he added.

Grotesque and undignified, Maradona then grabbed his genitals with both hands, signalling some sort of manly insult to the TV cameras in the tunnel outside the dressing room.

And on the Argentina win, I love how the dominant thinking on their chances next year have completely turned 180 degrees in four days. Last Wednesday, it was "even if they qualify, they're getting knocked out, their coach is a coke addict who wakes up at 3pm daily, their team is unbalanced, they have no back four, and Messi is lost for his country." It's suddenly become "you never bloody know, the favorites never win, they have a lot of heart, they just need four good days and anything can happen." And I loved this comment from a Guardian reader:

We're all laughing now at crazy Diego and his madcap antics, but just you wait and see what hapens:

In the group stages, amid the infighting they squeeze through into second of a group the tabloids call "The Piece Of Piss".

Second round they stumble through a 1-0 win over France, after which Domenech announces that his wife is pregnant, so things ain't all that bad. For some reason the French FA still refuse to sack him.

Quarters they come up against England who, after an insipid start to the tournement start to really play. Unfortunately Crouch's third minute goal is cancelled out in the 92nd minute by a Ferdinand backpass that goes through James' legs to the sound of a Swannee whistle. Agentina win on penalties.

Semis they put on a good defensive performance against Portugal. Argentina win 1-0 in a game that is remembered for the game in which it is catagorically accepted that Ronaldo 'never performs in the big games'.

In the final, against a suspension hampered Spain, the Argentinian players decide to ignore Diego's commands and just goes out there to play. Argentina win 3-2 in "The Greatest World Cup Final Ever" TM to much applause and backpeddling from sports journos world wide.

During the trophy presentation Diego pushes Messi et al out of the way and accepts it himself. He proceeds to ejaculate on it for forty-five minutes, spurting gallons and gallons of 'rage semen' before his head explodes.

I guarantee it will happen. Put a monkey on it.

Doesn't sound so implausible, does it?

4. Check out the map at the bottom of this article on BBC news. And then check out the map in this Daily Times article. Which do you think is more likely: that the BBC stole from the Daily Times, or the Daily Times stole from the BBC? Sorry, under terms of my Rs.5 contract, I must ask at least one stupid question per day.