Lessons Learned On Coming Home
I arrived back in Pakistan a few hours ago; I'm here for the next month to spend time with family as well as celebrate AKS' wedding. Here are some quick lessons:
1. Never underestimate how soon you will be subjected to a conspiracy theory. In my case, I heard my first about 17 minutes after stepping in my house from a family member who shall remain unnamed. Did you know Faisal Shehzad was a CIA agent? Yes, evidently they used him to create pressure on Pakistan to take action in Waziristan. Look how quickly "Hillary Clinton's tone changed!" Man, I miss being home. I've said it before and I'll say it again: living through conspiracy theories in the media is very different than living through them in the flesh. Good times.
2. If your flight is more than 12 hours long, and the airline sits you next to a couple with a 1-year old, God hates you. To be fair, the kid was very cute when she wasn't crying. That qualifier is more important than you think.
3. One needs to ease oneself back into Slims Chili Chips. I ate two large packets at 5 in the morning after going six months without 'em, and my mouth felt like I had just made out with Lindsay Lohan (i.e. diseased). I need to pace myself.
4. Don't be tempted by the free computers or the Wi-Fi internet at Abu Dhabi airport. My twitter account got hacked one hour after I did. Though I suppose it serves me right for being one of those obsessive losers who goes on Twitter at an airport.
5. Kids grow up very fast. It's been half a year since I saw my neices. I barely recognize the younger one (14 months), and the older one (5 years) now has a wider vocabulary than I do.
1. Never underestimate how soon you will be subjected to a conspiracy theory. In my case, I heard my first about 17 minutes after stepping in my house from a family member who shall remain unnamed. Did you know Faisal Shehzad was a CIA agent? Yes, evidently they used him to create pressure on Pakistan to take action in Waziristan. Look how quickly "Hillary Clinton's tone changed!" Man, I miss being home. I've said it before and I'll say it again: living through conspiracy theories in the media is very different than living through them in the flesh. Good times.
2. If your flight is more than 12 hours long, and the airline sits you next to a couple with a 1-year old, God hates you. To be fair, the kid was very cute when she wasn't crying. That qualifier is more important than you think.
3. One needs to ease oneself back into Slims Chili Chips. I ate two large packets at 5 in the morning after going six months without 'em, and my mouth felt like I had just made out with Lindsay Lohan (i.e. diseased). I need to pace myself.
4. Don't be tempted by the free computers or the Wi-Fi internet at Abu Dhabi airport. My twitter account got hacked one hour after I did. Though I suppose it serves me right for being one of those obsessive losers who goes on Twitter at an airport.
5. Kids grow up very fast. It's been half a year since I saw my neices. I barely recognize the younger one (14 months), and the older one (5 years) now has a wider vocabulary than I do.
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7 comments:
welcome home :)
pakistanis are really creative wen it comes to conspiracy theories :)
I *thought* there might be some introspection about the free Wi-fi at Abu Dhabi after seeing your Twitter output last night...
haha.. Pak loses again. This is getting really funny now. You guys have turned this thing of taking defeat out of the jaws of victory into a very fine art indeed!!
anonymous:
being an anonymous poster and talking smack to someone from the comfort of your home....not very manly. your indian inferiority complex seeps through my computer. its really quite hilarious.
"you're indian inferiority complex..."
hahahahaha. That's almost worse than the anonymous comment. You know, i take that back; it is worse.
Idiot.
Sorry, I misread that. He did say "your" and not "you're."
Still. Idiot holds.
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