Help Needed

I'm too busy to read bullshit financial news so I would appreciate if one of Five Rupees' twelve readers could give me a four sentence explanation of what the hell is going on, a three sentence explanation of if and how this is different from the 1997 Asian financial crisis, a three sentence explanation of if and how this is different from the stock market crash of the late 1920s, and a one sentence prescription on whether or not I should begin to hoard bread. For all the random and sometimes useful information I furnish you with, it's the least you people could do.