Rent Boys for Defence Aunties

I know I'm supposed to be blogging about the nomination of Syed Yusuf Raza Gilani for the post of Prime Minister. But I just cannot be asked, particularly as you can read his profile here, the supposed inevitability of his nomination here (or alternatively how he was a dark horse here), and watch him backhand fondle his way to second base with Sherry Rehman here or here.

Instead, on this fine Sunday evening and in keeping with my supposedly heathen ways, I have elected the blogging gutter and will post the following flyer, copies of which were apparently being thrown into cars in Defence. It reads:

"Ladies Body Massage

Specialists in Kissing, Sucking, Licking & More More More."

They apparently offer a range of services which include popular favorites such as:

"Breast ko purkashish banane ke liye: Breast Developing Massage."

The service providers are are mindful of their clients concerns about being caught by their husbands/fathers and offer reassurance, stating:

"Afzaish Nasal ki pecheidgi se bachne ke liye ala imported condom ki suhoolat bhi maujood hai."

Also, they add hopefully:

"Aap 2 larkyon kay group ki soorat mein bhi mujh se rabta kar sakti hein."

Lovely. I suppose you cant fault them for their elaborate scheme to get laid, but to have the audacity to charge for it, I mean really. And how the hell would a guy throw this flyer into a parked car? Doesnt that translate into a risk (bordering on certainty) that at some point he was going to get his ass kicked? There are indeed many unanswered questions. Frankly this whole story as it stands shouldn't be taken at face value (except for the fact that the flyer exists, and that someone somewhere at some point wants/wanted keenly to satiate his "jinsi zarooriyaat" without further self indulgence).

Consequently, I am going to try to get one of the co-authors of this blog to do some investigative work and dial the number and see what happens. If either of you are reading this, do not dial from your regular mobile or land line. It could be a sting. And know that in Central Jail, 'Ladies Body Massages' are mandatory. Even if you're not a lady.