Screw The Jamaatis - End The Ban On Youtube and Facebook

If you're offended by the Prophet cartoon thing, here's an easy solution for you: don't search "Muhammad + cartoons." You'll be just fine.

The groundwork for this entire sh'bang was laid down by the Jamaat-e-Islami. Having spent the last three weeks with an insufferable Jamaatia, I've seriously had it with these opportunistic hypocrites. Interestingly enough the Jamaatia didn't come with us from Pakistan, he moved to the U.S. in the 90s after graduating from IBA, went to Columbia and Harvard, works for Rand Corporation and was hired by the State Department to be our cultural guide. And what a cultural guide he was. This is what I learned from Mr. KH:

1) Nobody gets married in the U.S., "they all have boyfriends and girlfriends" (said in a most judging tone).

2) Americans don't have a moral code.

3) Pakistanis are useless / insincere. There's no point in bringing in lawyers and judges from Pakistan and teaching them about the American system because there's no hope and you guys won't make a difference because Pakistani's have no commitment. (This, by a guy who left the country for greener pastures and is clearly staying in the U.S. until he can get his hands on an American passport, I imagine once he does get the passport we'll see him hosting a fiery talk show in Pakistan.)

4) Pervez Hoodbhoy is an American agent. (Again, this guy works for Rand and was hired by the State Department, apparently they don't teach irony at Columbia or Harvard.)

5) Karachi, especially Defence has gotten really, really 'bad' - morally and socially that is. (What can I say,women do roam around the streets in their thongs propositioning every truck driver that passes by.)

6) Young Pakistanis are totally out and have no moral code because they drink alcohol. (Yes, all I do while having a drink is figure out which brothel would give me the best price for my mother and sister.)

7) Sufism is a new concept.

There was much more vitriolic shit coming from his mouth but at some point I stopped listening, but I'm sure you get exactly what type of person we're dealing with.

Sadly, this deluded, moralizing, self-righteous twit isn't alone, there are many more out there and they're getting more and more vocal. They are the product of Pakistani universities from the late 70s through to early 90'd (the Zia years), especially universities where IJI was prominent. They seem to have forgotten how IJI became prominent, with American money and American guns, and now spend their free time denouncing the U.S. The rest of the day, when they're actually working, you'll find them at MNCs, Banks, etc., or like Mr. KH, working with the U.S. government. They may hate America but not American dollars.

Well, they can go fuck themselves. The Pakistani people did not vote them into power, they have no mandate to govern or legislate, all they do is intimidate.

Let's grow some balls and stand up to these turds.

America Seduces Pakistan - And I Have Front Row Seats

I have spent the last week and a half as a guest of the U.S. Department of State participating in an International Visitor Leadership Program titled The Administration of Justice, A Project for Pakistan.

The program is aimed at giving Pakistani legal professionals with an insight into the American legal and political system; in this regard we will be meeting government officials, judges, members of think tanks, as well as ordinary Americans. My fellow participants on the program are:
S. Ahmad, Assistant District Public Prosecutor, Punjab
M. Ahmad, Assistant Commissioner and Sub-District Magistrate, Swat
G. Bari, Assistant Prosecutor General, Punjab
R. Khan, Lawyer, Lahore
M. Lakhani, Lawyer, Karachi
I. Rehmani, Lawyer, Bahawalpur

As you can see, it’s a diverse group of Pakistanis who have never met each other, and who might not get a chance to meet one another back in Pakistan, so as much as this is a program centred on finding more out about the U.S., it helps me in finding a bit more about Pakistan.

I had hoped to write a daily blog but that boat sailed away a long time ago so I’m going to do the next best thing and write about the highlights of the trip. Number one on the list, by virtue of it being the first thing I experienced upon landing, was the protocol.

Man, protocol rocks! I can totally understand why Pakistanis love getting public servants to come to airports holding a cardboard sign with their names on it. And no, protocol has nothing to do with saving time while demeaning the respect of those public servants and their offices, or about being able to smuggle in goods (i.e. booze); the real prize is that such display of power allows you to look down on other people, laugh at their misery and generally feel superior. Needless to say I'm feeling pretty superior right now after all how many Pakistanis are received by a protocol officer an officer from the Pakistan Desk at the State Department when they land at an American airport (that too at 6 a.m.) and get escorted through customs. 20 minutes, that's how long it took for me to leave the airport. If you 're one of those people who thinks that this American administration is not serious about improving its ties with Pakistan, think again.

Disclaimer: Perhaps, I exaggerate. The presence of State Department officials wasn't the sole reason for me getting through security so quickly. Being on the first plane of the day helped big time and travelers to the U.S. should take note and get a flight that comes in early in the day.

That Nasri Goal

What a night. It's been a long time since Arsenal have had a big win against respectable opponents or anyone actually - it was their first win with a 5 goal margin since the very first game of the season. And they should've score a couple more - there were glaring misses my Arshavin and Sagna.

Arsenal deserved to win but they weren't always in control, Porto had the opportunity to get right back in the game but they didn't and Arsenal grabbed their opportunity by the balls. Quick and effective.

But it doesn't matter that they weren't solid at the back, or that Porto lacked incisiveness, or that Clichy was once again poor, or that Campbell looked old. Arsenal won 5-0 and had fun doing it, what more can you ask for. They huddled together in the end looking energized and enjoying each others company, that made the win all the more sweeter.

Best of all, Nasri scored this most sumptuous goal:



Breathtaking stuff. There's a reason why they once called the new Zidane. (Then again they'd hail any technically gifted French footballer of Algerian descent as the new Zidane. I wonder if he had all the new Maradonas play against the new Zidanes, who'd win?)

There Are More Important Things Than Football

After an abject, goalless draw with Liverpool, the Manchester City manager, Roberto Mancini, had this to say about Carlos Tevez who was absent and sorely missed:

"He is in Argentina and it's a big problem because we have an important week," the City manager said. "We don't have any depth and, for me, it is not good. Carlos went eight days ago and I don't even know [if he will be back for the game at ­Chelsea next Saturday]. I don't know if, while he is in Argentina, he has been working [on his fitness]. I hope that Carlos comes back within two days. I have ordered him to come back and I hope in the next few days he can come back."

Fair enough one would think, Mancini as a manager has every right to order his players back when the team is missing them. But why is Tevez in Argentina anyway?

Because his wife prematurely gave birth to his daughter who is still under the observation of doctors on life support. Tevez, like any reasonable father, wishes to stay with his family until his daughter is completely out of danger.

Mancini, get a grip man.

Rape Victims Are Blameless

Consent. When it comes to sex this one word separates us from barbarians, and when a sexual act takes place without consent, no matter what the circumstances, it is barbaric. It is rape. By acting without consent an assailant the person in question the most basic of freedoms, the freedom over their own body.

It is therefore shocking to learn that over half the women in a recent survey carried out in the UK blame rape victims in some form or the other for being raped. Victims were accused of being too drunk or dressing scantily. This sort of thinking is absolutely wrong.

A woman who is incoherently drunk is comparable to a person who is mentally handicapped; they both lack the ability to consent to a sexual act. We would not blame a rape victim for being mentally handicapped then why do we apportion blame on a woman who passed out after being drunk? And the fact that being drunk is self inflicted does not change things, the key is that the person was not in a position to offer consent at the time the act took place.

A woman could walk around in a bikini at the truck adda in Shireen Jinnah colony and consent to a sexual act but then if she said no to that particular act, or any other act, and if said act continued it would be rape and she would be blameless.

There is no question of extenuating circumstances limiting the culpability of the perpetrator, except for him being insane; in a rape the fault lies entirely with the aggressor. However, when we apportion blame to the victim, we tacitly accept that in some situations the actions of the perpetrator are understandable, that they are somehow justifiable. They are not. Rape is unjustifiable.

But then why do a majority of people still blame rape victims? Dr Roxanne Agnew- Davies, a clinical psychologist and an expert on the effects of sexual violence, quoted in a Guardian article, says “it can be to reassure themselves that this will not happen to them.” Unfortunately this skewed logic borne out of fear hides the fact that your typical rape victim is not a scantily clad woman in Shireen Jinnah colony, the typical rape victim is likely to be a typical woman. And the assailant is likely to be someone known to the victim, in our society it is most likely a husband, a cousin, an employer or a neighbour.

The reason why we don’t hear more about rapes is not because they don’t take place but because women who are raped choose to stay silent. And who can blame them, as a society we’ve convinced ourselves that the woman who is raped is worthy of blame, that she is immoral or has a ‘bad character.’

This absurd way of thinking has to change. We can lie to ourselves and pretend that only bad people are raped, but this only makes us all more vulnerable.

Zizou The Magician

I never tire of watching Zidane videos and this one, which I came across on Guardian's awesome weekly youtube post, is breathtaking. Enjoy.

Bye Bye Mustafa Kamal?

The Sindh Government finally passed the Local Government Amendment Bill 2010 yesterday. The writing on the wall for the CDGK was written even since Mush was ousted and the provincial politicians regained their authority. There has been a fair amount of politically motivated violence in Karachi and it doesn't take a genius to figure out that a major factor was the power struggle between the PPP and MQM - political parties in Karachi have a unique way of negotiating. Even so, the fact that bill was passed in relative peace is a triumph and bodes well for the people of this city, at least in the short term.

It also means that the CDGK as we know it will cease to be. The next local government will certainly not have as much authority as Mustafa Kamal's, or even Naimatullah Khan's regime. Karachi's been lucky to have two mayors in the erstwhile powerful role who in their own ways had Karachi's interests at heart. And again, who knows perhaps the new system will prove to be better and provide more adequate checks and balance.

There's little I can add to what's already been written about the successes of the CDGK, and Mustafa Kamal in particular but I have linked to our previous posts on him at the bottom.

So what's next for MK? I don't see him continuing as the Mayor, the good times are over and he should want to leave on a high. Considering all that he's done for the MQM's image, the party would certainly want him to continue and he could be offered a slot as an MNA, a ministry may even be mentioned. But MK is no Farooq Sattar, also a former Mayor, and I don't see him getting his hands dirty in national politics. And unlike most Pakistani politicians, MK has a great cache of international goodwill which I think he'll use and head to a nice little shindig abroad.

By the way my dark horse candidate for the next mayor is Faisal Sabzwari, a young MQM politician in the MK mould who is currently serving as the Provincial Minister for Youth Affairs.

I leave you with a video of Mk which I came across on Cafe Pyala, its an odd choice I admit but I think it perfectly encapsulates the man. XYZ at Cafe Pyala had this to say about the video:

"Whatever the truth of what exactly happened and why after the blast at the Karachi Ashura procession, you are unlikely to see a more honest reaction of frustration from a politician on the media... Watch the clip till the end!"

Seriously, please do watch the clip till the end.



(Links to previous posts: Ahsan chose him as the best Pakistani politician of the decade, he also posted on MK being nominated as the Second Best Mayor in the World - which was not really the case but was still picked up by other outlets; I was impressed by him initiating students to the inner workings of the CDGK, I also wanted him to take over DHA; Ahsan also had a chance to meet with Mustafa Kamal in Chicago and posted about his meetings with the head of the Sadistic Goremint here and here.)

Increased Security In Karachi

The journey back from work was an interesting one tonight, not to mention a rather long one. First came a make shift security barricade right after Kala Pul, where the police had blocked off 2 lanes and were only letting one pass at a time, and stopping cars for random checking. I was able to save a good few minutes by taking a side road and avoiding the ensuing traffic jam (note to the police, ensure there are no alternatives because it kind of defeats the purpose). Nothing much out of the ordinary as once in a while the police will inspect vehicles at this exact same spot.

The second barricade came on Khayaban-e-Ittehad, right in front of the Askari Bank building. There again was nothing seemingly out of the ordinary (if one considers random police checks to be the norm) however it didn't feel like a normal police check. The police were actually paying attention and not just harassing motorcyclists, moreover the police were aided by rangers who had created a secondary barricade and were looking inside each car. Moreover, the police were stopping buses and inspecting them from the inside - our police are never this efficient.

The third incident was even more surprising. As I passed the Khy-e-Muhafiz intersection on Ittehad a Toyota Corolla car with SP (police) number plates chaperoned by a police mobile passed me by. I instantly cursed the guy and thought of how much better it would be if the police focused all their energies on protecting everyone rather than giving preference to the VIPs. But then as I crossed Khy-e-Hafiz (about a kilometer down) I saw the SP car flag a taxi with 4 men and the policemen in the car and the mobile hurriedly got out. I decided against finding out what happened next.

Perhaps this was just a show of strength, a PR job to mollify the people similar to the police idiotically parading dozens of mobiles and motorcycles on main roads in the middle of the day. Here's a photo courtesy Karachi Metblogs:




However, this seemed more than that. The policemen on duty looked edgy and it seemed that they were acting on some prior information. This brings me to a quote I read somewhere regarding the FBI: "our successes are private but our failures public." I wonder how many private successes our law enforcement agencies have had but chosen not to reveal.

A few weeks ago our cleaner (jamadar) spoke of the police apprehending three terrorists from his area; apparently a bunch of boys playing cricket hit a ball on to a neighbour's ledge, when a boy climbed on the ledge to retrieve the ball he got a peek inside a room that contained guns and what looked like suicide jackets. He immediately told everyone and they called the cops, the police arrived and apprehended the residents who had recently rented the house. This all occurred in Neelum Colony right off Zamzama Park. There was absolutely no mention of this event on the TV channels or the newspapers therefore I don't know if this story is entirely true, and it does seem a bit far fetched. But if the story is true, I can understand why the police would want to keep quiet about it, you really don't want to spread panic nor do you want people finding out that a major terrorist plot was only discovered because a teenager hit a ball on the ledge - what if this batsman was like Ahsan and chose to only take stupid singles and not play a big shot?

Two Bomb Blasts In Karachi

Two bomb blasts have rocked Karachi this afternoon, targeting Shia mourners. The first bomb blast occurred on main Sh-e-Faisal near the Sharah-e-Quaideen junction about an hour and a half ago (around 3.45 p.m. local time). The second bomb occurred outside the emergency entrance of Jinnah Hospital, where incidentally many of the casualties from the earlier blast had been taken. (For those who may not know, Jinnah Hospital is right around the corner from Regent Plaza Hotel on Shahrah-e-Faisal.)

The first bomb was attached to a motorcycle that was driven straight into a public bus that had been carrying many Shias mourners who were heading towards procession marking the chehlum of Hazrat Imam Hussain. This bomb occurred on an extremely busy area however the roads were fairly empty as today is a public holiday (Kashmir Day). On a normal day the toll could've been much higher.

I was at my office when the blast occurred which is only a few hundred meters away from the blast site and rushed home after the bomb. The biggest worry was that there may be more blasts or that there may be riots. The police was quick to cordon of the road from Tipu Sultan and it was apparent that most people on the road were trying to get home as soon as possible.

As I said, most people here are programmed to consider the possibility of further violence but I dont think anyone imagined that the next target would be a hospital. This is unprecedented for Karachi and perhaps Pakistan.

There are various commentators on television questioning what the police could've done, especially as it now appears that the motorcyclist suicide bomber had been parked on the road, waiting for the bus to arrive. However, I think it is extremely unfair to blame the police for inaction. I don't think what they could've done. Shahrah-e-Faisal is a busy road with plenty of entry and exit points, there is no way in hell you can stop anyone from coming onto it - as it is, the main concern for the police was the procession taking place at M.A. Jinnah road and you can't blame them from deploying their personnel there. As for why the motorcyclist wasn't questioned, this is just plain stupid. The place where the blast took place is a fairly commercial area with many office buildings and on any given day you'll find plenty of cars and motorcycles temporarily parked on side of Shahrah-e-Faisal, waiting for people, dropping of a letter, buying samosas, etc. There's a rangers chowki a few meters away from the bomb site as there's a perpendicular road that leads to a rangers base, the fact that they probably didn't find it weird that a motorcyclist was waiting should help us gauge that this is a fairly routine occurrence.

The talking heads on television need to stop asking inane question and making a fool of themselves, condemn the violence and ask for calm. There's absolutely no point in placing blame, this only flames discontentment and leads to riots.

The second bomb was apparently placed on an ambulance parked near Jinnah Hospital's emergency entrance. Some people have been transferred to Civil Hospital.

The figure for the death toll varies between 22 and 32.

Shia ulemas have called for 3 days of peaceful mourning. I wish they would now wrap up the main procession, you don't want anything else happening.

Update:

The idiots on TV are now asking why people entering the hospital area weren't being checked. I don't know, because they were carrying critically injured people? I'm not saying that there may not be valid issues that need to be addressed, but this is not the time.

Its now being reported that Jinnah Hospital's emergency ward is being evacuated and patients are being shifted to other hospitals. This is a big blow as the hospital is perhaps the most equipped to handle emergencies in the city.

American Consulate Officials Are Stupid

As the entire country loses its marbles over Blackwater, officials from the American consulate in Lahore seem hell bent on feeding our national paranoia by acting like inconsiderate idiots on a major Lahore road in the middle of the bloody afternoon. Dawn reports:

LAHORE, Dec 8: Local police detained three luxury jeeps with tinted glasses at a check-post near Sherpao Bridge in Cantonment area for search on Tuesday.

Those on board, said to be Americans, however did not let police search the black Land Cruisers.

Sources said policemen on duty stopped the vehicles in the afternoon after spotting their tinted glasses and missing number plates.

They asked the riders to come out of the vehicles for checking but they refused.

Later, the policemen came to know that those on board were Americans and related to the American Consulate in Lahore.

After the verification process on the arrival of some consulate officials, the foreigners were allowed to leave the check-post.

The stand-off which continued for a couple of hours blocked traffic on Abid Majeed and Jail roads.

Could Religion Have Played A Role In The Younus Saga?

As reports come in of Inzamam playing a major part in the ouster of Younus I am reminded of the time when Younus was seen as the anti-Inzamam: he was energetic, confident and media savvy. He also didn't have a beard and would not be waking the team up at 3 a.m. before an important world cup match so that they could offer Tahajjud prayers.

Could it be that Younus' lack of religiosity resulted in him losing control of a rather religious team?

Or it could be a result of him being a Karachiite who spoke his mind, that might not have gone down well with the Punjabi lobby?

What do you guys think?

Meera: The Interviewer

SM recently forwarded me a short clip featuring Meera and Tapu Javeri that is currently doing the rounds on the interweb. Its titled "Meera The English Guru" and as can be be expected its purpose is to have a laugh at the expense of Meera who has a strange, overwhelming desire to speak in English, a language she is entirely incapable of speaking. Here's the clip:



The clip is borderline funny but not really hilarious, what is startling though is the manner in which the producers are exploiting the situation by making her speak in English, at one point near the end Meera even says that "yay meray say nahin hoga." Like I said earlier, one can laugh at Meera's expense because she puts herself in compromising situations and craves attention like nobody's business. But what cannot, and should not be tolerated is the role played by television producers in exploiting these shortcomings - I understand that exploitation is prevalent throughout the world, but that doesn't mean it should be so readily accepted. As it is, despite the strides made in recent years, its still not easy for women to be part of the media or entertainment sector and when producers start exploiting them then it makes it even harder for this to change.

All said, I love Tapu Javeri's nonchalance throughout the clip.

PML(N): The One Dish Party

At a recent wedding in Lahore I was surprised to learn that the Punjab government has once again introduced the one-dish law at weddings - hosts are, by law, prevented from serving more than one item of food. The PML (N) had, in its last stint leading the federal government, introduced the same law in the rest of the country but that law didn’t last the test of time. This is a monumentally stupid, culturally insensitive and unnatural law, and speaks volumes about the strategic depth of the PML (N)’s thinking. It also remains highly popular in Punjab, which is why it was the first legislation passed by the Punjab government. The rationale behind this law seems to be that it prevents wastage of food and stops families from trying to outdo each other in the food department even when they can't afford such luxuries.

First of all, there are better ways of ensuring that food isn’t wasted. Most people I know don’t throw away the food that’s left over; they take some home, distribute some amongst family members and give out the rest to the poor.

Secondly, people who treat weddings as competitions and imagine that being outdone in their choice of menu by the other side is a slight on their izzat are idiots and will always try act stupidly. The one-dish rule doesn’t inculcate humbleness in these people, it only directs their energies elsewhere: if its not the menu, they'll be competing over the venue, the clothes, the jewellery, the event planner, the cars, etc.

And surely when it comes to humbleness, Nawaz Shariff should first tell his family members to stop importing Siberian Tigers and stripping forested mountains to build gaudy summer palaces.

I can’t help but feel that there may be another reason for the Nawaz League’s decision enforce this inane law, they hate Pakistani weddings that are heavily influenced by South Asian traditions. I'm going out on a limb because I have nothing to support this contention but it wouldn’t surprise me if the Shariff brothers considered the purging of ‘Indian traditions’ from Pakistani weddings as their obligation. They are after all important leaders in the Islamic Republic of Pakistan.

Speaking of important leaders, shouldn’t the second largest party in the country, the leader of which has twice been elected Prime Minister show some sort of interest in issues of national importance such as say the civil war we're fighting, the outcome of which may well define our destiny? Ahsan has already pointed this out in his post here, and I'd asked similar questions here. I can understand the PPP’s hesitance on this issue, if things don’t go as to plan (whatever that plan may actually be) the pressure on them will be insurmountable therefore its best to keep the operation out of the public eye, but shouldn’t the PML(N) be voicing out some sort of opinion on the matter?

The only thing I’ve heard from the PML (N) has been their opposition of the Kerry Lugar, which by the way came about after the army had voiced out their frustrations over the bill’s language. In any event, the PML (N)’s opposition seemed to have little to do with the bill and more to do with their inherent hatred for America. It would have been nice to see a genuine debate on the bill, the PML(N) should have questioned the government how it allowed the statements requiring Pakistan ‘to do more’ to be inserted despite assurances by the Obama administration that this would not be done; it could also have questioned the government what is the point paying millions to lobbyists and PR firms and then have the Indian lobby kick our ass so handily, instead what we got was a farcical, myopic exercise in anti-Americana.

The PML (N) is in an enviable position, it is a political party not in power in a country faced with many, complex problems. It has the luxury of not having to prove the worthiness of its arguments, all it needs to do is criticize the government’s actions and present an alternative – it could be an unworkable, hair brained idea, but it should offer a solution to the big problems facing the country.

Instead, we get deafening silence on the biggest issue of them all: Militancy. Militants in NWFP. Separatists in Baluchistan. Terrorists in their own backyards. Nothing but silence from the PML(N). Can anyone please tell me the PML (N)’s plan to deal with these issues? There only answer seems to me to be: let the army deal with it.

The PML (N) has plenty of intelligent, politically savvy people in its ranks, but all of them seem incapable (or unwilling) of forming a policy that is based on a long term view, they instead seem to relish issues that bring short term popularity.

Case in point: The Sugar Crisis. I’ll leave it to the able chairman of the Competition Commission of Pakistan, Mr. Khalid Aziz Mirza, who was appointed by the Supreme Court to file a report on the Sugar shortage during proceedings in appeals filed by different parties against the Order dated 03-09-2009 of the Honourable Lahore High Court, Lahore, which fixed the retail price of sugar at Rs. 40 in the province of Punjab (I'm trying to find the report online, once I do I'll add the link). The CCP states:

• As will be revealed later in this Report, the Government of Punjab admitted during the hearings held by the Commission that no professional exercise was done to arrive at the cost of production-related data while fixing the “support price”.

• Punjab government's crackdown adversely affected the supply-chain - trucks belonging to the USC were stopped from carrying sugar across provincial lines as well.

• This crisis of non-availability was precipitated, in particular, by the actions of the Government of the Punjab in August 2009 when it sealed the sugar mills and seized the stocks lying with the mills. This contributed in a most direct manner to interference with the normal demand-supply linkages of the sugar market. The panic on the part of the provincial governments disturbed these linkages to the detriment of all stakeholders, especially those on the supply-side such as sugar mills, dealers and retailers.

• It is the Commission’s considered view that the present crisis did not arise because of a price hike but more so because of mismanagement on the part of the Federal and particularly the provincial governments. The crisis actually began when the Punjab government panicked at the rising sugar prices in August and sealed sugar mills while seizing the stocks lying with them.

Just to be clear, the above-mentioned passages are mere snippets from a 48 page document that blames the federal government, provincial governments and the media for creating this crisis; but the Competition Commission holds the Punjab government to be most responsible. Moreover, it should be noted that the Supreme Court was not too pleased with the Competition Commission’s report as it did not agree that the market alone should determine the price. The Honourable Supreme Court can't just shed the limelight when popularity is to be gained!

In light of the above, the PML (N) doesn't seem like the 'business party' it fashions itself to be and one really has to wonder whether its policies have ever brought long term gains to Pakistan’s economic climate. No matter what one thinks of General Musharraf's regime, its hard to deny that his administration did bring about economic wealth (admittedly this wealth was divided unevenly) and introduced measures that would improve the country’s economic well-being and prove valuable in the long run. Let's not forget that before being thrown out in 1999 the PML(N) wanted Pakistanis to eat grass so that we could blow up a mountain as part of an advertising campaign launching our brand in North Korea and trade with North Korea, and once we'd all had our share of the grass we could return to our newly built ghars [houses], park our freshly re-painted yellow cabs and go to sleep.

The last point that I wanted to raise is that despite its lust for popularity, the PML(N) appears to have given up on the three provinces not named Punjab. A while back Nawaz Shariff made a hue and cry about him being barred from coming to Karachi, nobody’s stopping him now. And nobody’s stopping him from going to Baluchistan, where the federation is slowly losing its limited control.

It's time for the PML(N) to grow up and not leave the big issues to the army, it needs to have clear policies and act like a major political party.

A Family Destroyed By Terrorism

As another blast rips through a civilian target, a market in Rawalpindi, the BBC tells us the story of Adnan Hussain, a teenager who lost his entire family in the Peshawar blast. Here is Adnan in his own words:

We had all been at my grandmother's house. My mum told me to go and fetch my dad from my uncle's place so we could all go to buy bangles and clothes and other stuff for the [cousin's] wedding.

I went to get my dad but decided not to go shopping and stayed with my uncle.

.......

An hour later, we heard the blast.

.......

I ran to the hospital and waited.

One after the other four bodies came in. I really can't describe how it felt.

I lost my mother, father, two aunts, my four sisters and my brother. Sonia was 12, Irum was eight, Sehrish was six, Fariah was five and my younger brother Salman was three years old.

They still haven't found five of the bodies.

What did my family do? Why would anyone do this to them? I don't understand.

And where was the security? They always tell us there's a red alert and security is high but there was nothing.

..........

I still have my grandmother, and my uncle told me not to worry and that he will take care of my schooling.

But all I can think about is that terrible day and I want to cry.

How Stupid Does The PIA Think We Are?

As the government bends over backwards to keep the airline afloat, the grateful people at PIA have this to say:

THIS is apropos of your editorial , “ PIA’s nosedive” (Oct 21). PIA is nowhere near bankruptcy. It is meeting all its financial obligations itself without any subsidy from the government.

It has credit worthiness among global financial institutions and material supplying agencies and it is meeting all its financial obligations towards its creditors, vendors and posting operational profits. Fuel is not the only factor, still a major factor of financial losses to the airline.

The other factor is the devaluation of the Pakistani rupee against US dollar.

As an accounting requirement, PIA had to book the exchange difference on the entire amount of outstanding US dollar loans which contributed a net exchange loss of Rs24.1bn.

This exchange loss alone is almost 180 per cent of last year’s total company losses.

The high fuel prices, which reached $147/barrel in July 2008, contributed an additional expense of Rs15.5bn, the expense would have increased to Rs18.4bn if stringent savings, realised through fuel-efficient policies, capacity and route rationalisation plans, would not have been activated.

Both the rupee-dollar disparity and fuel prices were beyond PIA’s control and compelled a loss of Rs39.7bn during 2008.

The PIA management contained non-fuel expenses to just seven per cent as compared to an increase of 27 per cent in its net revenues. PIA’s total yearly percentage of employee expense is much lower than global averages.

For some understanding and as comparables it may be mentioned that the International Air Transport Association (IATA) reported global airline losses of $16.8bn in 2008. The projected airline industry loss for 2009 as projected by IATA is $11bn.

SYED SULTAN HASAN

General Manager, PIA

Karachi

(Courtesy: Dawn, Letters to the Editor)

The Curious Fundamentalist

This is one of the craziest things I've heard in a long time, it involves a relative of my aunt's called S. S is a native of Karachi, she was always quite curious, a tomboy who liked playing with boys but who showed no interest in boys as she grew up. Her liberal parents never pushed her into being a 'typical Pakistani girl', and she was left to explore her identity, and even when this identity entailed 'close friendships' with girls it was left unspoken, never forbidden.

A few years ago, while she was in her mid-30s, S deserted Pakistan and left for America. She soon deserted being a woman and became, S the man. Her family, while taken aback stood by her, they didn't discuss the issue in the open but never disowned her and continued to treat like she belonged to the family. Recently, they were all shocked to see S return with a shoulder length beard, knee length shalwar and a woman by his side, his wife.

S was now a fundo. Not only that S now considered homosexuality a sin, trans-genders an abomination and people who have had sex change operations to have failed in the ultimate test. S now goes around the U.S. telling people how every single day he repents for having changed his sex, his identity crisis was a test from God and he failed.

Its quite apparent to me me that S needs serious help, his family really does need to intervene. At the same time what is interesting is that while S appears to be a Moulvi, he's ideologically much closer to a right wing evangelical christian.

In a recent email with NB we discussed how Islamic ideology which now appears backwards was revolutionary at the time but has since failed to adapt. There is no verve or dynamism to modern Islamic theology, and zealots have been given a free reign to define the religion. Even worse, modern Muslim 'scholars' (i.e. opportunist nut jobs) seem to be borrowing new ideas from their right-wing Christian brethren (i.e. opportunist nut jobs). So now we have people like Harun Yahya entering the Creationism v Evolution debate, offering a Muslim opinion, which really nothing more than a recycled lecture from Liberty University. The Quran is vague enough about the concept of creationism that evolution doesn't pose as much of a problem even for Muslims who believe in the literal interpretation of the Quran.

Then we have abortion regarding which we are getting to a point where most Muslims now believe abortion to be haram and permissible only if the life of the mother is in danger or where conception occurred after a rape (though even this is now being looked down upon). The Muslim pro-life campaign bases most of its arguments on Chapter 17, Verse 31 of the Quran which states:

"Kill not your children for fear of want; it is We who provide sustenance for them as well as for you; for verily killing them is a great sin."

The issue though is complicated by the acceptance by most Islamic schools that spirit is breathed into a fetus at 4 months, therefore before this period a fetus can't really be considered to be a child. This leaves the room open for a theologically sound Muslim pro-choice camp and in fact various scholars agree that while abortion during the first 4 months is wrong, it is not a punishable wrong. (The BBC summarizes abortion in Islam here.)

The stranger than fiction case of S and the Islamic movements on evolution and abortion show how conservatives of different religions are feeding off each other, this can't be a good thing.

Pointless Fact Of The Day

Pakistani conspiracy theorists are going to have a field day with this one: The crossroads between China, India, Pakistan and Tajikistan, more particularly the Hindu Kush mountain range in eastern and central Afghanistan and north-western Pakistan, is the world's center of population with an average distance of 5,200 kilometers (3,200 mi) to all humans. Talk about geostrategic importance.

A Gift to Conspiracy Theorists

Ahsan will probably send me a characteristically irate email for stoking the fires of ignorance, but I can't resist. 

In his book 'Profiles of Intelligence', former ISI officer and Sitara-i-Imtiaz recipient Brigadier Syed A.I. Tirmazi writes:

"Next on the list [of countries that Tirmazi beleives the United States wants to impose it's will upon] is Yemen. Yemen not only supported Saddam during the Gulf Crisis but also has its geo strategical importance as it borders Saudi Arabia, controls the Red Sea at Bab-ul-Mandab, and new oil fields have been discovered in Jazen Area in Northern Yemen. There being no economic problems in Yemen, Americans are attempting to employ the 'Islamic Card' there. The CIA has infiltrated the Ikhwan-ul-Muslimeen (Muslim Brotherhood) and have supported them to win a few seats in the cabinet."

"Usameh Ben Laden, a Saudi national of Yemeni origin, has been selected to direct the CIA operations there. It would be recalled that Usameh, who establsihed Qaada and controlled all the Arab mercenaries in Peshawar- Afghanistan and played a mysterious role in the Jalalabad battle of 1989, has reappeared in Peshawar after an absence of two years. Reportedly he is arranging to shift his Qaada and the Arab mercenaries to Yemen to fight a holy war against h e Yemen Regime, As soon as he reaches there and established his Qaada we will see a CIA instigated insurgency between the troops of Sheikh Sindani and Arab mercenaries led by Usameh."

"Equally under threat is the regime of General Omar-al-Bashir of Sudan. Usameh has made a number of visits to Sudan too and has offered his services, funds and fighters to help President Bashir to fight Christian insurgents of South Sudan. President Bashir knows that he had sided with Iraq during the Gulf War and that Egypt and Israel are already helping Colonel Garang against him, therefore, Usameh's offer is an attempt to infiltrate the fight column in Sudan. He there fore declined the 'good offer'. However, he cannot go very far because for implementation of the New World Order, both Sudan and Bashir have to be sorted out, it is only a matter of time."

Two points:

1. The paragraphs quoted above may not fully demonstrate this, but Tirmazi's  book is written in a style that does not really reflect well upon its credibility. And that is putting it mildly.

2. There is currently no shortage of people clamouring that 9/11 was an 'inside job' and that Bin Laden was/is an agent for the CIA.

Having set out the unremarkable aspects of Tirmazi's account, the reason it is somewhat noteworthy is because the book was published in 1995. Tirmazi was therefore asserting that Bin Laden was a CIA operative well before 9/11 or Kenya, at a time when he was relatively anonymous. Moreover, Tirmazi's suspicions are aroused not in relation to Bin Laden being a CIA created bogeyman who enables/justifies American military intervention, but rather in relation to what he perceives to be Bin Laden's direct efforts to overthrow regimes in opposition to America's 'New World Order'. Either way, he is probably amongst the earliest, and the most consistent proponents of the 'Bin Laden is a CIA puppet' conspiracy theorists.

Tirmazi's account is also noteworthy for his hilarious passage on Dr. Andrew V Corry, a previous US Counsel  General who was based in Lahore:

"It is interesting to note that Dr. Corry, a chronic bachelor, was a passive homosexual. When he would get the urge and had not arranged for a partner, he would go crazy. He would take off his clothes, bend over and even beg his domestic servant or his driver to satisfy his perversion. His driver Ashraf, mostly close at hand, was not in an enviable position but financially he gained a lot. ISI could have exposed Dr Corry's perversion but our moral stands, decency and ethics dissuaded us."

Doesn't sound passive at all. And very kind indeed of the ISI not to expose Dr.Corry in the way that Brig Tirmazi exposed him. 

I feel bad for Ashraf actually. He was just a pawn in this Great Passive Homosexual Game. He certainly did not deserve to be outed by Brig Tirmazi's lame non-attempt at discretion. I hope he sued for libel.

The Onion is Real in Bangladesh

The Onion punks Bangladesh:

Two Bangladeshi newspapers have apologised after publishing an article taken from a satirical US website which claimed the Moon landings were faked.

The Daily Manab Zamin said US astronaut Neil Armstrong had shocked a news conference by saying he now knew it had been an "elaborate hoax".

Neither they nor the New Nation, which later picked up the story, realised the Onion was not a genuine news site.

Entertainingly, the associate editor of the Nation chose to explain his error in the following way:

"We thought it was true so we printed it without checking"

Fair enough. However, given that the editors thought the Onion News Network was for real, I cannot understand why they chose not to republish the feature about Jesus's recent conversion to Islam, or the one about Obama's placenta. Even Pope Benedict's efforts to evade fatherhood by belatedly legalizing abortion would have raised a few eyebrows in Bangladesh. So why pick the least sensational of the lot?

The Taliban Martyrdom Certificate

The Tehreek-e-Taliban are actually awarding 'sanad-e-shahadat' (martyrdom degree / authentication certificate) to those who have lost their lives fighting the righteous fight. This is unreal.

(Courtesy: Dr. KM)