NYT Interviews Zardari; Hilarity Ensues

The Pakistan President displays some of his formidable intellect in this long piece by James Traub.

We get Zardari the constitutionalist, who seems to believe that just because the constitution allows a certain measure to be taken, it is contingent upon him to take it:

"No democratic party would like to do governor's rule," he said. "It's in the Constitution; it's part of necessity."

Then we have Zardari the blatant liar, who feels it isn't enough that he was married to Benazir.

"Benazir and myself are related."

Or maybe he thinks marrying some makes you their relation. He obviously doesn't know much about marriages, believing them not to be governed by law. Here's how he describes his agreement with Nawaz Sharif:

"an agreement by consent," not "an agreement by law." It was like a marriage. It was like a merger.

How about Zardari the mangler of the English language?

“I will not comment on those things,” he said gravely, “because Islam forbids drinking.” What’s more, he added, with a show of indignation, “this description you give — who is fun-loving, who is easygoing, who is consumption of Scotching and wining and dining and dancing — why would that kind of man opt for a life that he knows for sure that he will have to go through a lot of trouble and tribulation?

Then we also get a demonstration of the contradictary nature of Zardari:

"The world philosophers," he asserted, "have come to the conclusion that aid has never been one of the best ways of developing countries." But then he scrambled his talking points and said that when he first spoke with Bush administration officials, he called for a "Marshall Plan" for Pakistan.

And my personal favourite: Zardari the philosopher king:

"Every day," he said, "man is growing and learning. What you were yesterday, you are probably not today, because today's you is yesterday's experience. One is always learning."