Daniel Vettori Is A Douchebag

Like most Karachites I wasn't in the best of moods today morning (thank you PEPCO, WAPDA and KESC) therefore it was really nice to read Andy Bull's article "Which team will win the World Twenty20?" in the Guardian. Bull dissects the performances of the 4 teams thus far and then reaches to the following conclusion:

"My heart says Pakistan, my head says South Africa, my gut says West Indies and my gammy knee is going for Sri Lanka. I'm sticking with my original prediction of South Africa."

His heart says Pakistan! When was the last time any non-Pakistani cheered Pakistan on? Sure, foreign nationals might want us to defeat the Taliban, but that's because the Taliban are scary homicidial maniacs. This is different, and it shows why cricket is so important for Pakistan.

Unfortunately my joy was short lived, because even though there are plenty of commentators who support Pakistan and want us to win, almost all of them refer to the 'controversial' manner in which Umar Gul has been reverse swinging the ball. Lets just be clear, there is no controversy. Daniel Vettori as captain of a sucky New Zealand team was alarmed by the swing generated by Gul and he approached the match referree to make an unofficial enquiry, they checked the ball and found nothing amiss.

I don't get it, did Vettori make an official complaint or not? Surely, if it was an official complaint then then Vettori should have been asked to explain the basis on which the complaint was made. If that wasn't the case his 'enquiry' should simply not have been entertained. To say that the ball is swinging too much is just not good enough. Will he ask the umpires to check Gayle's bat after he deposits Vettori's shit bowling to the next city to check and see if it isn't made out of dark matter?

AND even if all of this had taken place was there any need for him to give this loaded statement to the press:

"I think it's important to note the position we were in when Gul came on in the 12th over. We were well and truly behind the game; Pakistan were dominating and were likely to go on to win," said Vettori whose team face Sri Lanka in Nottingham on Tuesday needing to win to reach the semi-finals.

"The amount of reverse swing that we saw was new to us, and therefore we raised a couple of concerns with the on-field umpires and the match referee.

"They relayed back to us that they had no issues at all with the state of the ball. We accepted that - and now we move on to our important game against Sri Lanka.

It didn't take long for everyone to catch on to that and during the Pakistan v Ireland match even the commentators were referring to the 'extraordinary amount of swing' being generated by Umarl Gul. This is such bullshit. The man is a really good bowler, he always has been (when not struggling with a back injury) and he certainly has the ability to run through the middle / lower order of a middling side.

Thankfully we have a proper captain now rather than a cross-border cassanova and Vettori got a fitting retort:

"Everyone has his own opinion, especially when you get out cheaply and lose a game like that because New Zealand have a big reputation in world cricket."

Cheating is a serious allegation and Vettori should have had more sense then to make such claims, more importantly the ICC should provide a clear framework under which complaints can be made as well as guidelines or reporting them to the press.