Farewell, Sarah Palin

So, we won't have Sarah Palin to kick out around anymore. Her resignation as governor of Alaska should spell the end of her political career. Were she going to run for president in 2012, she would have at least seen her term out.

But she didn't go quietly. Good God, did she make a lot of noise. Her speech is so full of nonsense, non-sequiters and audacious lies that it almost makes me nostalgic for the presidential campaign.

For example, she said, "You can choose to engage in things that tear down, or build up. I choose to work very hard on a path for fruitfulness and productivity." Let's ignore the non-existent grammar of that sentence and concentrate instead on what she said about Barack Obama in her stump speech back in 2008. He was a guy, according to her, who "palled around with terrorists." Way to enagage with ideas and not tear people down.

Then there's this:

Life is too short to compromise time and resources... it may be tempting and more comfortable to just keep your head down, plod along, and appease those who demand: "Sit down and shut up", but that's the worthless, easy path; that's a quitter's way out.

So, serving out the term to which you have been elected is what a quitter would do? How would you describe what you are just doing? You know, quitting literally as opposed to this bizzare definition you have just given.

My choice is to take a stand and effect change – not hit our heads against the wall and watch valuable state time and money, millions of your dollars, go down the drain in this new environment. Rather, we know we can effect positive change outside government at this moment in time, on another scale, and actually make a difference for our priorities – and so we will, for Alaskans and for Americans

For the life of me, I can't figure out how Palin resigning would save millions of dollars. If I understood the speech (believe me it's hard), then she believes money is being wasted on investigating all the ethics violations complaints that have been levelled against her. But those investigations won't go away just because she's resigned. I also find it odd that she thinks she can do more for Alaska as a private citizen than as governor.

Even her metaphors suck:

Let me go back to a comfortable analogy for me – sports… basketball. I use it because you’re naïve if you don’t see the national full-court press picking away right now: A good point guard drives through a full court press, protecting the ball, keeping her eye on the basket… and she knows exactly when to pass the ball so that the team can WIN

Thanks to Malcolm Gladwell I know that point guards don't dribble through a full court press.

This faulty analogy is used to give even more reasons for her quitting:

And I’m doing that – keeping our eye on the ball that represents sound priorities – smaller government, energy independence, national security, freedom! And I know when it’s time to pass the ball – for victor.

I don't know what role an Alaskan governor has in national security but, like her, I too have no doubt that having Sarah Palin far from any official position makes America safer.

My decision was also fortified during this most recent trip to Kosovo and Landstuhl, to visit our wounded soldiers overseas, those who sacrifice themselves in war for OUR freedom and security… we can ALL learn from our selfless Troops… they’re bold, they don’t give up, they take a stand and know that LIFE is short so they choose to NOT waste time. They choose to be productive and to serve something greater than SELF... and to build up their families, their states, our country. These Troops and their important missions – those are truly the worthy causes in this world and should be the public priority with time and resources and NOT this local / superficial wasteful political bloodsport.

I knew she would be able to work The Troops in there, no matter how tenuous the connection.

Then we get this contradiction:

It hurts to make this choice but I am doing what’s best for Alaska. I’ve explained why… though I think of the saying on my parents’ refrigerator that says “Don’t explain: your friends don’t need it and your enemies won’t believe you anyway.”

But I have given my reasons… no more “politics as usual” and I am taking my fight for what’s right – for Alaska – in a new direction.

Sarah Palin is not explaining why she's quitting but she's given her reasons. If you don't get the distinction you obviously have a brain.

Now, despite this, I don’t want any Alaskan dissuaded from entering politics after seeing this REAL “climate change” that began in August

You get that? That is what passes for conservative humour. Might I also ask if her youngest son wrote this, what with all the capitalized words and all?

Oh, Sarah Palin. How I'm going to miss you.